A Brave New World

*Sensitive topics discussed

            

            There are some things you grow up having blind faith in. Police officers, firefighters, lawyers, the justice system, etc. If you’re anything like me you constantly look at rape, domestic violence, or even murder stories in the news and think to yourself “Not me” or “I know better than that”. We often think those girls or guys who get date rape drugged and raped or murdered for turning down a guy’s prom-posal are special cases. But that's a thing of the past.

-      1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted in college

-      Most victims are assaulted by someone they know

-      About 5% of sexual assaults on college campuses are reported.

            

            Five percent. The truth is that the stories we hear on the news have thousands of others just like it that go unreported daily. Up until the #metoo movement even the stories we see on the news- did not provoke national outcries or demonstrations but we continue to think to ourselves “not me” and flip to the next channel. It absolutely could be you, or me, or my friends, or my sister, or my mom, or my brother, (about 4% of men on college campuses will be raped). 

            The worst statistic of all, that truly gets to me is that forty two percent of women expect to be raped again. I have a lot of expectations in my life. I expect the sun will come up tomorrow morning. I expect my computer will turn on. I expect police officers to come five minutes after I call 9-1-1. I expected Brett Kavanaugh to not be the next supreme court justice. Oh, how I wish it were the sun not coming up tomorrow instead of that. 

            A piece of me thought, “No way is this guy getting confirmed.” But then I took a look at all the “Brett’s” I knew in my life and how they never paid any consequences for anything (for the record I don’t mean “Brett’s” as in guys I know with that name, I mean the people like him). I don’t mean they all go around raping people but many have committed misdemeanor’s and haven’t paid the price. I once saw a video of some guy getting arrested and saying, “Don’t worry my dad’s a lawyer”.  Funny when you first hear it, but scary for the people who don’t have that blanket of security. Brock Turner’s family blamed the college environment for his son raping a girl, basically saying he didn’t know any better. When will we stop blaming other circumstances that are not beyond anyone’s control and actually blame the accused?

            I have an older cousin who was sexually assaulted by someone in her work place. She never filed a report because of the stature of that person. She and another female were ridiculed by media reports for being babies and dramatic about the situation. It wasn’t until a similar-positioned male friend of theirs stood up for them and got them the apologies they deserved. I just cannot get over the fact that her and her friend needed another male ally to confirm their allegations. 

            Where was Mrs. Blasy-Ford’s blanket of security? Who was in her corner standing up for her? Why is right and wrong not enough? Who protected her? 42% of college women who are raped tell no one about it. Rape has significant effects on the psychology of a persons brain. Many have experiences where they only remember bits and pieces of the night (regardless if they drank or not) because our brain tries to hide us from traumas we've experienced. The president mocked her at a rally and what was worse is he had thousands of other people laughing at her expense. 

             We as a country failed her. Our justice system failed her. Our president, who took an oath to protect all people, despite who they voted for, failed her. We can have as many demonstrations as we want, we can protest, and make signs. But when you face one of the “Brett’s” it will always be their word against yours. At least with this congress. 

            I try not to feel so cynical about all of this but it’s difficult. I expect at some point in my life to have some form of forced unwanted contact with someone. The only hope we have is to vote the people out of office who do not represent our ideals and values, who blame the victim and not the accuser, & who put their own political agenda before their conscience. We can do better. We’ll raise our kids better. We’ll listen with an open mind. We won’t blame girls for wearing skirts too short or not enough clothes or for drinking too much. And we won’t blame the victim.  

                                        

Every 98 seconds another person experiences a sexual assault. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, raped, or abused please call 1800-656-4673.